My First Blog
Hello, lovers and dreamers. I’m nervous and excited, too. Just so you know.
***
I’m a second generation Angeleno, and I’m 42. I left for a few years here and there to live in the Redwoods, Italy, and Boston for education and adventure. I never thought as a kid that I’d land in L.A. as an adult, let alone come to love the personality of this city. But I did and I do and now here we are.
Right now, I’m writing window-side to a forested backyard. I’m spending a week in the woods with family friends, at their home. A bear sniffed by a couple days ago and squirrels and birds are everywhere. I’m taking some quiet time to think about Love Letters and about how people meet. I’m thinking about what makes for Mutual Attraction, and what makes people Good for Each Other.
The family friends are a couple in their mid-seventies, and they’ve been together 20 years. They met through work. Several things about them have struck me since I’ve been here. About love too, and timing, and about what motivates hard work. But the thing I’m thinking about right now is how much they clearly enjoy each other’s company and how they always default to having each other’s back. They flirt with each other all day. They laugh at each other’s jokes and pretty much laugh off each other’s bs. They’re really naturals at bringing things up in the moment and I’m noticing neither gets defensive. I think it’s because neither one feels judged by the other, they’re really secure in their mutual admiration, so they address the thing and love on (I meant to write “move on” but I’m leaving it 💘). Each one says “yes” to a lot of stuff the other proposes, they have similar energy levels and social tendencies, and they’re constantly calibrating with these awesome little micro check-ins with each other: What do you think?; Are you comfortable?; Need anything?; Want a bite?; Which account should we pay from?; I love when you wear that; Look honey the ___ you planted is growing; Hey honey, you said you wanted to ___, let’s leave time for it; You got interrupted, what were you saying?…
I really could go on.
***
Regarding Mutual Attraction, I wonder if it’s as simple as:
A similar sense of humor. Being seen as funny by someone you think is funny is really, really fun. Maybe what’s so special and alchemistic about discovering a shared sense of humor is that suddenly, there’s so much that doesn’t have to be explained. Which is a relief. And creates a lot of room for a lot of other cool stuff. There’s all this crazy potential for hot, playful, intimate authenticity.
You agree on things you think are sexy about yourselves. Being seen as sexy for something that already makes you feel sexy is really, really sexy.
So those are my thoughts on a formula for Mutual Attraction. I’ll think on that some more, but that feels like a real start.
As for what makes people Good for Each Other… I say this one can be simple too. However, I think it tends to take longer to hash out. And it can change as we change. And sometimes we need some outside perspective. So, simple, but not easy. (Neither are easy.) Future posts and the growth of this service will be based on the seeking of answers to this question.
***
Future posts will also explain why I’m here and started this company; why it’s called “Love Letters”; why true matchmaking (versus making introductions) is important for the community and individuals; why I think dating apps are now letting down certain modern dreamers and lovers who found hope in them before; and more. Later posts will discuss whatever’s on my mind that I think may be useful to someone with singleness and coupling on the brain. If you have an idea you’d like to see discussed here, please email your thoughts for consideration. I’ll select whatever I think I can offer a thoughtful take on!
For now though, I wanted to hit “publish” and let you know how genuinely and warmly I welcome you to this site. Thanks for taking the time to look around, and please let me know if I can answer any questions for you.
💌,
Alexis Fae Gach
Matchmaker